i'm getting too old for this

2007-03-08T20:16:00.000-08:00

productivity=busy

i love work (seriously...no really) i am taking a japanese class once a week. which i actually think will suck. but it was cheap and it's something to do, and an excuse to have a textbook. i had the class all to myself for the first one and the lady pronounced me fluent. har dee har har. haven't been reading much. (book recommendations por favor) been watching lots of movies. looking forward to seeing the namesake. read the book and loved it. the previews made the movie look super cheeseball, but i love that hot kal penn.

2007-02-16T20:26:00.000-08:00

productivity=busy, yet not really feeling productive...hmm

updates

-thinking of getting a vespa. 80 mpg and i can probably afford to get one in cash.
-maybe moving soon (within LA) house owner is coming back.
-fully enjoying quiznos
-feeling incompetent at work. (i hate being the new one)
-done drinking at the moment (hangovers have gotten worse. excruciating now)
-new cell fone totally sucks compared to its japanese cousin
-i'm still adjusting (obviously.....haha if you've ever read this at all)

2007-02-11T14:42:00.000-08:00

productivity=working

well. i have a full-time job. i start officially on monday. never did hear back about the NHK job. tis a shame. so anyways, i have quit the english teaching. (ended up liking that place way more than i expected, it was a little sad to leave) i am working at the production company full time. 8:30-6 pm with an hour for lunch. $2,400/month. i am office manager/production assistant/editorial apprentice. however, my most primary duty is answering the fone, and keeping the food stocked.

here are the things i like about the job in list form:
-everyone working there is fun and nice
-it's casual work environment, no need for khakis and button down shirts
-i'm learning new things every day
-it's a clean yet non-sterile work environment
-i have decent hours for a living wage

things i don't like:
-it's not so close to the home (approx 45 mins by bus+bike)
-they want me to buy a car (for the grocery shopping/errands/and what foolish fool doesn't own a car in la anyways)

i don't have some huge opposition to driving a car. but. i really don't want one. for the following reasons:
-gas money
-insurance money
-i can't see @ night
-money to buy the car itself
-parking
-traffic

last week i was hit by a car while riding a bike. this sucked to the extreme, but it really didnt change my mind about not wanting/wanting a car. nor did it change my mind about bike commuting.

2007-01-22T20:07:00.000-08:00

productivity=what

ok. the jobs are good. but the future of the one i like is shaky. i'm not sure how much longer they will need me. plus the future of me is shaky. what a what. i'm here. i'm queer...um ok. there is a job i desperately want with a certain japanese broadcasting company. i want it. i want it so bad. i want to take japanese class. bad. i want my effing textbooks to show up. i want a surfboard. i want a friend who will take me. i want to be in school. i want to be working. i want to know everything about everything i like. i want to know about computers. but not for a job. i want to be trilingual. i want a faster bike. i'm stuck. in a rut. i'm not learning. i'm not saving. i'm not enjoying as much as i once was.

2007-01-16T19:05:00.000-08:00

productivity=kind of

i worked all weekend in the animation studio. mostly doing tedious tasks like updating spreadsheets and making notes of things. did get a few hours free to do a tutorial on final cut pro. very fun.

today was first day at new job. it's ok. i won't love it. i won't hate it for a while. it's something. more to come on that. the only stressor now is my wardrobe. i ain't got no clothes. i just spent $75 at express on shitty clothes that i don't like, but they are business casual. this goes against my rule of not buying clothes unless i absolutely love them. these clothes suck. but they were $10 per item. i am keeping them as a last resort. i will try to assemble something acceptable from the things in my dresser first.

and i was almost late for my first day today. the shittiness of that connecting bus is too much for me, so i put my bike on the reliable bus and ride the rest of the way. the bus that came today had the bike rack torn off! this is the first time i've seen this! i made it in just before the start.

searching for cheap japanese class but no luck:
berlitz=expensive
community college=only beginner level
ucla=still $400 for a few months. that aint that cheap
everything else is too far away

suck.

2007-01-11T17:22:00.000-08:00

productivity=medium

i have been applicating for jobs like it was a full time job. the thing is-i know i'm not going to find a job i *love* in the classifieds, so these jobs are just shit to get the rent paid. admin ass, data entry, phone surverys. etc. spending so much time to find a suck job.

yesterday was a low. i had an interview at an art gallery. got lost. bike tire popped (yes, i rode there on my bike) gave up.

had a phone interview with CALPIRG. sounded like a great job. low pay ($23K/yr), but sounded interesting. i've never heard so many euphemisms. basically it is door to door asking for money and sometimes working 80 hours a week.

today. interview with ESL school. i woke up early. took the bus. early. then! proceeded to miss my connecting bus. i still don't know how this happened. i took my first bus earlier than scheduled. ended up waiting an hour for another bus to come. from the other direction nonetheless (effing internet bus route planning) showed up 45 minutes late to interview. they still hired me. they just checked for a pulse, slapped some textbooks on me, and told me to show up tuesday for my first class. umm. what. so this is what i will be doing. i guess. $15/hr, 9-1 every day.

i'm not thrilled about this job. but, it's more pay than the other shit. all the kids going to the school are in their 20s. and i have the rest of my day free to find some sort of unpaid internship. plus if the animation studio finds money, they are right down the street, so i could part-time it with them for low stress. even in worst case scenario, i never find another job, i will just have to live super spartan. my life will suck, but oh well. all the free time in the world!

got my bike tire fixed today and picked up extra tubes. contemplating going hard on my bod since i have so much time. may use savings for a wetsuit. ($300)

2007-01-10T10:32:00.000-08:00

things have been massively shitty, thus, the lack of posting. i couldnt even force myself to get on here and write a little bit. i am off to see about a job in an art gallery. ($9/hr)

2007-01-03T19:28:00.000-08:00

productivity=pretty good

im exhausted. crappy night of sleep.

i went to the temp agency today and took their battery of tests. i fared ok on the typing etc, i have never used excel before and got about half of the test right. i have used word a lot and got the same score. oh. spelling-perfect. grammar 90% this is my shame.

i work as a front desk person at a physical therapy office for 3 days starting the 15th. i make $10 an hour.

today i cleaned, did laundry, read some comics out of The Years best comics..i forget the name now. the japanese recruiter called me back. i have an interview out in pasadena on friday. that's far away. i 'm not sure how i will get there.

today i applied to be:
admin ass at nonprofit
esl instructor
art gallery front desk and art installer
field investigator
cashier at the museum store at the museum i like
production coordinator
production assistant
freakin awesome assistant (craigslist title)

2007-01-02T19:53:00.000-08:00

productivity=medium

i've had a pleasant weekend and i kind of forgot about posting. i saw these movies: Pan's Labyrinth, United 93, Why we Fight, The Thing, Descent. I watched Descent last night. It was deliciously scary.

today i got up late kind of accidentally. cleaned the dishes. phoned a dear friend, and went to target to acquire "career things". i have a date with the temp agency at 9:30 tomorrow morning. yow. not how i wanted things to happen, but i guess it was inevitable.

Today I applied to be an executive assistant, a manager, and a personal assistant.

2006-12-29T18:54:00.000-08:00

productivity=medium i guess

i'm in full force job hunting mode. i haven't felt this depressed in a long time. nice to know i still have it in me. here's what i applied for today:

production assistant
caseworker 1
entry level marketing position
data entry rep for tutoring company
data entry clerk
production assistant for film
sales trainee
management trainee

enterprise rent-a-car got back to me within the hour. did a quick search on that job. 80 hrs/wk for $30K/yr. wow. and you get the thrill of being relocated a few times in your career. the time is coming when i may just have to settle for this. when i report myself going in for an interview for that job, then you will know i have given up completely.

i also filled out an app for the temp agency. that actually wouldnt be so bad because you are expected to hate that job upfront. enterprise actually tries to hide the fact that you are going to be in a walking nightmare for the rest of your life with them.

i've been trying to find a therapist/career counselor/psychiatrist. so far they are way high priced.

i've eaten nothing but honeycomb cereal today and i haven't left the house. admitting that made me feel better.

2006-12-28T16:21:00.000-08:00

productivity=trying

setbacks abound. trying to get my pension paperwork filed. there is a number missing i need and the copy machine is broken here at the library. trying to get resumes mailed off, but the internet is not working at home. thinking of popping some sleeping pills and just giving up for today.

oh, and my office job guy emailed me back about a schedule. i was about to cut and paste the email but the library computer doesnt allow for cutting and pasting. strict. he said, he has to talk to some people next week, he really likes me blah blah. but he can't promise anything. those words are going through my head and making me crazy. I can't promise anything. everything is hinging on this!!! i can't sign up for classes until i know i have an income. i cant sleep normally until i know. i can stop looking for jobs, which i hate more than life itself, if i know. i really wanted this job. feeling heartbroken.

2006-12-27T19:42:00.000-08:00

productivity=low

but i got an excuse. i was up early for the plane flight.

not unpacked. watching space ghost. reading comics. playing ds. consuming taco bell bean burritos.

headache, fatigue.

no email response from prospective employer. worried. response from dental volunteer van. need to get my Hep B shots.

2006-12-26T16:21:00.000-08:00

productivity=low

mailed out some stuff, packing, laundry blah. finally picked up some lights for my bike tho. flight out tomorrow.

2006-12-25T16:20:00.000-08:00

happy hollandaise.

sauce

2006-12-23T11:47:00.000-08:00

productivity=low (fer yesterday)

family stuff all day..

too much drinking and eating. waking up at 2 pm. today

2006-12-21T20:03:00.000-08:00

productivity=all new lows

didn't leave the house today.

finished reading marley and me. about a dog. some guy's dog. it was vomit inducing. far too sentimental and chicken soup for the soulish.

getting obsessed with dick in a box

2006-12-20T19:56:00.001-08:00

productivity=low

family things all day.

tired.

2006-12-19T20:49:00.000-08:00

Productivity=low

xmas shopping at mall. succeeded in buying not a thing. whoops. mall is dull. hate of suburbs growing.

went to see the good shepherd

currently reading what should i do with my life? ha ha

2006-12-18T18:10:00.000-08:00

productivity=medium

i have just returned from a small US tour. I have visited friends and family in Chicago, Las Vegas and Portland. I managed to see quite a few people, but I still missed out on lots more I would have liked to have seen. Plus I would have liked to go to St. Louis.

I've read: Mysteries of Pittsburgh, Running with Scissors, Stiff, Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close.

I've watched: The Gingerdead Man, Wicked Little Things, Turistas, King Kong (2/3rds of it), Casino Royale, The Pursuit of Happyness.

I've researched several community colleges for their course offerings. I've memorized one article out of my Japanese text.

2006-11-25T13:32:00.000-08:00

productivity=medium

watched i heart huckabees. purchased clothes. succeeded in finding gift for friend. studied vocabulary in order to attempt reading an article in nihongese.

my mom just spoiled me at american apparel. finally my plan is working.

life decisions life decisions...i'm still torn. finish library thing or fuck it and go do post bacc for a chance at dental school. or fuck it all and learn to fly jets. or completely fuck it all and just work hard at a job and see what happens. or just throw it all out and start at zero and try to get my phd in ecology. now that would be radical.

i'm thinking perhaps if i do want to take a stab at dental school i should wait a year before rushing into the post baccs. i should take calculus once and for all and get really good at it. i think that would solve a lot of problems. (literally and figuratively...oh man) and try to find a decent volunteer post to see if that shit is worth dedication of the rest of my life.

i think this year i will try to make some new years resolutions and follow thru. here is a starter list.

-purchase surfboard and go out with it once a week
-save money for post bacc dream if it is to be undertaken at all
-draw something once a week
-read a book every 2 weeks/or maybe one book a month or something.
-learn calculus. even if not for post baccs, just for my own good
-get the basics of spanish down. i need that broken into smaller goals
-learn at least 5 new kanji a week (now if my effing box of cards would just show up)
-start training for triathlons...(yea this one is a stretch. not sure if i even want that or not)
-find a school to refresh me in my martial art and take a lesson once a week
-cook a meal from a recipe once a week

suggestions?

2006-11-24T11:20:00.000-08:00

productivity=low

well i am taking a break from usual mental stress, anxiety and worry for the holidays. kind of. just an excuse to be lazier. wedding crashers sucked. i don't know why i even bother with the romantic comedies. seriously.

been oot and aboot with old friends. my goal for this time at home has been left unreached. goal=buy some new clothes. there is an issue. it seems like cleveland, ohio has been stuck in some sort of fashion crisis. mostly in ladies jeans. the jeans. what the fuck. bell bottoms are here and everywhere. in california i only saw super tight jeans. where is the happy medium! i'm currently in a shitty pair of long ass jeans i bought only out of desperation. anytime i go outside they pick up the moisture from the ground and soak all the way up. foul. forget about riding a bike in these. they be all up in the chain. currently my wardrobe consists of the aforementioned desperation jeans and two long sleeved shirts in different colors. tho the exact same style of shirt. what's a mall hating, clothes-less kid supposed to do in this cold weather! challenges abound.

2006-11-22T14:24:00.000-08:00

productivity=staggeringly low

suburban ohio is a bit of a downer. weather is cold. feeling lazy.

watched hostel. not as good as hoped.

have spent past two days visiting relatives and researching dental and/or flight school. am much more drawn to dental school. post bacc programs are appealing, but with huge price tags($40K+) that's not a guarantee of getting admitted to a dental school afterwards either. i would prefer to make up pre-reqs at a state school at night but that option is difficult (both in LA and cleveland) i haven't been able to find a school that will accept non degree students. i've posted advice notices on student messageboards. two responses received. post bacc programs are not worth the high price tag.

2006-11-19T18:40:00.000-08:00

productivity=medium

met up with old friends all weekend. just came back from wicked little things. meh. about zombies but not so scary.

2006-11-17T14:39:00.000-08:00

productivity=low

went to dmv for new driving license. they require me to start at the beginning. eff that. carless future here i come.

went to mall for new clothes. hated everything. high prices, boring clothes. given up.

2006-11-16T12:52:00.000-08:00

Productivity is medium today. I present today's list of things accomplished already:

-dentist visit (no cavities, but probably permanent gum recession due to my obsessions)
-received bank stamp to get my pension moving along, ordered checks, took out $40 from my account
-bought new underwear

i've been trying to set life goals for myself and i haven't progressed. i have two problems.

#1: i'm into 3 things and i'm not really sure which should be a career and which should be a hobby. choosing one is saying no to so much. kyaa
#2: in all honesty, i'm more into gaining a lot of skills instead of doing some specific "career path"

Skillz desired:
-foreign language ability (high on list are Jhongo and Spanish)
-scuba skills
-airplane flying
-design skills
-surfing ability

there was more! forgetting now. sleep deprived. jet-logged

2006-11-15T15:14:00.000-08:00

Productivity is way low. i've been shit at updating this blog too. anyways, bla bla bla. i can't even remember what the fuck i've been up to.

job search news:
fake job is going splendidly. *i think* i did a bunch of spreadsheets for fake boss and at the end of the day he told me to email him when i thought i would be back in Los Angeles. Job forecast=probably won't be a thrilling job, but then what job ever was. People in the office were cool and I actually like the movie from what I saw.

I effed up a job i'm not sure i really wanted but kinda did. i applied to be ass man for the hostel downtown. it said the pay was low, but i woulda been able to live in their apartment, get a cell fone allowance and something else. anyways, i applied ages ago and they finally called but they had to fill the position IMMEDIATELY as she put in. and here i am out of town.

well anyways, i'm back in cleveland. seems like i never left! wow! great! fantastic!

here are 3 highlights from the travels yesterday:

#1 this guy came up to me, and was like, hey! how are you? he was saying my name. i was like oh shit, who are you? but kind of faking it. it went on for a few minutes before he admitted he was just fucking with me and read my name off of my ticket. because they print the name in huge effing letters.

#2 eXXtreme turbulence on the flight. seriously worst i've experienced in a while. people were going bonkers. *fun*!!

#3 after i went to the bathroom, the dude stewardess was like, hey lady aren't you gonna turn the light off in there. i was like wahhahhwha! umm! what! it doesnt turn off! after i got over my confusion i realized him and his partner were effin with me. laughing at my expense.

i'm sure ill be updating soon. shock has hit me! it's not pretty. about to go watch walk the line. fun!

2006-11-11T11:36:00.000-08:00

what i did yesterday:
-rode bike around town and large university
-studied the first few spanish language tapes of the set from the library
-watched thank you for smoking

i need to be more productive !!!

2006-11-10T10:43:00.000-08:00

Already I have fallen behind in blog postings. My goal was once a day to perform a record of the day. Well, part of that I blame on a shitty internet connection. But if I was really dedicated I would have gone to the library!

Things have taken a turn. My days of sitting around applicating from the computer were put to a halt momentarily. I am back now though. Today is Friday. Wednesday I had an "interview". I say "interview" because it lasted a few seconds and basically it was just some sort of deal, not the scary sort of interview where they ask stupid questions and I panic trying to think of a clever answer.

(Once I was asked...what famous person would you like to be? WhaT!!! My mind was going frantically trying to think of someone not involved in some horrible gossip, or some anorexic bitch. I should have just said the truth {Abe Lincoln} but I blurted out...umm.. Mia Hamm. Because I like soccer {stupid!} still got the job though)

Back to the matter at hand. Basically a guy who owns a company that makes films was looking for an assistant. He wanted me to work free for a while as a trial and then offer me a position. Perfectly awesome. The only shit thing is that I am going home next Tuesday and traveling around the US until after xmastime. Not sure if that will upset the deal or not. I was perfectly upfront about it.

Yesterday I went in for my first trial day. My task was to watch the movie and note when they used what software. The movie is animated entirely with computers. I had to add up the seconds that each type of software appeared.

I could have either saved this guy a lot of time, or completely done this incorrectly. He was consistently busy all day so I was hesitant to ask a lot of small questions. It's hard to describe what I was looking for in each scene.

I shall be back in Monday for perhaps another trial day. The job search is put on hold for a moment. I would like this job very much. *Fingers crossed*

2006-11-07T16:47:00.000-08:00

Ok, so today has been pretty unproductive. I applicated myself to two jobs (part-time ESL instructor and assistant production coordinator for a small film company). I called a language school, NOVA type, about part time employment there. I have been hassling for the past two weeks and today the guy finally returned my many messages. He won't know anything until the end of the month.

I will now apply for two jobs at a large university working in the library. I am overqualified for both positions, but I have been applying for these types of jobs before. I usually get a standard response from an automated HR system.

Besides that, I have cleaned up dishes, laundry etc, talked on the phone, and spent too long on the internet.

2006-11-07T16:35:00.000-08:00

Here is the resume I have been using. I change things around depending on the position I apply for, but this is the basic thing. I cut and pasted it here, so it looks pretty shitty, but well, you get the idea.

The resume

JET Programme English Language Teacher , Toyama Prefectural Board of Education
Toyama , JAPAN August 2004 to August 2006
· Supervised two visiting English teachers.
· Created and presented professional development workshops for Japanese and foreign teachers.
· Planned and taught 18 classes a week, including a specialized international course, oral communications and a writing class.
· Coached students to participate in the research project, recitation and speech sections of the Toyama English Speech Contest.

Production Supervisor/Assistant Graphic Designer , Signs PDQ
Cleveland , Ohio March 2003 to June 2004
· Designed signs using Flexi Sign Pro and Corel Draw
· Incorporated images into business advertising and signs using Adobe Photoshop.
· Trained new employees.
· Assisted customers in developing sign solutions for businesses.

Flight Attendant , United Express Chicago , Illinois August 2002 to March 2003
· Trained in customer service, diversity awareness, and high stress emergency situations.
· Served drinks and educated customers on the safety features of 3 different aircraft.

Assistant Editor/Tape Librarian , StudioWorks
St Louis , Missouri September 2001 to May 2002
· Edited short clips using AVID Symphony and Adobe Premiere. Projects include commercials for Bud Light and the St. Louis Blues.
· Organized and maintained a tape library.
· Performed basic office functions such as answering the phone, filing, and assisting the Production Coordinator.

Education Kent State University , Kent State, Ohio
Master of Library and Information Science
In progress

Saint Louis University, St. Louis, Missouri
Bachelor of Arts in Communication Technology, Minor in Studio Art
Graduated May 2002

Volunteer BEE Japan (Bicycle for Everyone's Earth), Fundraiser, and Rider, Japan Work Madurai University, Guest lecturer on culture differences Fundraiser, India, August 2005

2006-11-07T13:16:00.000-08:00

This blog is intended to be a record of my progress in the search for a job. I have been back in the USA for almost 3 weeks. Every single day of those almost 3 weeks I have been applicating for jobs. I have not received one call back yet. Nor one email of interest. I have read articles saying job hunts can last for 6 months or longer. That's a lot of time. Even worse when I'm not sure exactly what I want to do. I will also be keeping a monitor of other things I do to try to keep myself accountable.